곡상녀Keening Woman

DIRECTING INTENTION

This is the story of a woman knowing about "being sympathetic to other spirits". The concept is from my experience after giving birth. To give birth seems like cutting the connection to your own life, but being connected to another. Although the umbilical cord is cut, the connection between the two gets entangled for life. You want to behold all his feelings, movements and memories; as the mother, you feel like you understand him even more than himself. As the mother, I become the extension of the child in this world. We are as one. But we also cannot exist in the same body anymore. At that time, he needs my body more than myself. While he establishes his own Ego as an individual, it is the existence of my body from where he builds the Ego and the connection with the world. I am the critical point for him to get in touch with the outside world and the inside cognition. This is heavy. He stretches the hand to reach something or any movement is of your concern. You observe him learning and getting to know the Ego and the body, to become an individual person. This experience horrified me. It's like the fear of ghost or spirit, which may in turn making you losing yourself at the end; but at the same time, it is an experience of opening up yourself to embrace another being, which is something BIG. You know that the body and the mind cannot be separated, but you feel that you are also in a state of dismembering. This is very much a distorted experience. And how is the Ego being established? The story starts from here.