In 2008, when she turned thirteen, Chaeyoung rapidly lost more than 20 kilograms of weight and was admitted to a closed ward of a psychiatric hospital. Her mother Sangok thought her daughter would recover after treatment, but Chaeyoung’s anorexia only turned into bulimia. As Chaeyoung continued to eat and vomit for more than 10 years, she and her mother stopped addressing the issue altogether. In 2019, Chaeyoung leaves behind her goal of full recovery and travels to Australia in search of a new life. After Chaeyoung departs, Sangok, alone in her home, tries to find the cause of her daughter’s symptoms in her own past, which she still cannot comprehend. In 2020, Chaeyoung returns from Australia because of the COVID -19 outbreak, and Chaeyoung and Sangok finally begin to talk about the “disease” they have kept silent about for more than ten years.

In the fall of 2018, I began researching this topic after reading an article about the rising number of eating disorder patients, especially among teenagers and 20-somethings in Korea. While interviewing dozens of women and searching for related materials, I met the two main characters, Chaeyoung and Sangok. Through their story, I was able to glimpse into the deep and complex depths of eating disorders, which are conveniently shrouded with labels such as “dieting” and “obsession with appearance.” The origin of the physical and psychological illness a person suffers from is by no means limited to themselves or their family. This film is a journey in the footsteps of the complicated and tangled history that Chaeyoung’s body has endured.

2022 Busan International Film Festival / BIFF Mecenat Award